No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize