you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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