so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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