You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
