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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
