he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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