did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
