So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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