do herpes really smell.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
