yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
