She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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