Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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