she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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