my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
