Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
