You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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