if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
