It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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