Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
