Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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