I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
