I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
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