does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
