i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
