I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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