Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
its liver damage thursday
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
