ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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