I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
