Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
