so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
