so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
