Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
