I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
