My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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