I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
