When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
