I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
