...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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