so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
