Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
