I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
