my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
