Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
She announced her abortion via fbk
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
