i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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