You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
