Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize