People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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