i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
