I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
