I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
