Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
He better not be in your backpack
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
