Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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