her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
