I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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