she kept yelling 'call me bella'
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize