Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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