WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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