there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
