I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
