its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
