Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
