so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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