Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
