Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize