I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
FUCK WHALES
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
