I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
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