can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize