Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize