do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
