Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
