you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
