i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
